A Silent Revolution: The Marriage Mindset Is Changing
For generations, marriage in Nigeria was a non-negotiable rite of passage. It wasn’t just about love—it was about legacy, family, and community approval. But something’s shifted. In cities like Lagos, Abuja, and Port Harcourt, a growing number of men are saying “no thanks” to traditional matrimony.
And it’s not just a phase. It’s a quiet rebellion that’s picking up speed—and raising eyebrows.
The Numbers Don’t Lie
Recent data from the National Bureau of Statistics reveals a steady decline in marriage rates among Nigerian men aged 25 to 40. Meanwhile, the average age for first-time grooms has jumped from 29 in 2010 to over 34 in 2024.
Even more telling? A 2023 survey by SBM Intelligence showed that 52% of Nigerian men under 40 don’t consider marriage a priority anymore. That’s over half the young male population.
So what’s driving this sudden disinterest in settling down?
The Pressure Cooker: High Expectations, Low Satisfaction
Let’s be honest—marriage today doesn’t look like what our fathers signed up for.
Many men now feel overwhelmed by the pressure to provide a “soft life” for their partners. Social media has raised the bar to unrealistic levels: destination weddings, luxury lifestyles, six-figure monthly income expectations.
As 31-year-old Lekan, a software developer in Lagos, puts it:
“It’s like marriage has become a performance, not a partnership. I’m expected to play husband, father, therapist, and ATM—all while being emotionally available. It's too much.”
Fear of Divorce, Financial Loss & “Being Used”
One major fear haunting Nigerian men today is the growing divorce rate—and the financial fallout that comes with it. Stories of men losing property, custody of children, and years of hard-earned savings have made many think twice.
Add to that the recurring narrative of “gold diggers” and men being “used and dumped,” and you’ve got a recipe for mistrust.
This doesn’t mean all men are anti-women—it just means many are scared to lose everything in a system they believe isn’t balanced in their favor.
Love Isn’t Dead—Just Redefined
Now, before we throw away the idea of love altogether, let’s pause.
Many Nigerian men still believe in companionship. But increasingly, they’re opting for cohabitation, situationships, or long-term relationships without legal ties.
To them, this offers emotional support without the risks or societal pressure tied to traditional marriage.
Is it right or wrong? That depends on who you ask.
Cultural Clash: Old Traditions vs. Modern Realities
In a society where family still holds huge influence, choosing to stay single isn’t just personal—it’s political.
Parents want grandkids. Communities expect weddings. Religious leaders preach commitment. So when a man opts out, he’s not just challenging marriage—he’s challenging everything.
Some argue that this shift reflects selfishness. Others say it’s a necessary wake-up call in a society that’s long ignored men’s mental and emotional needs.
Is Marriage Still Worth It?
Marriage, at its best, can be beautiful—a source of stability, love, and legacy. But today, it comes with complexities that require honest conversations and realistic expectations.
For many Nigerian men, staying single isn’t about rejecting love. It’s about protecting peace.
As societal norms evolve, the idea of marriage as a must-do is fading. Whether that’s a step backward or a new form of freedom… time will tell.
One thing’s for sure: Nigerian men are rewriting the rules—and the whole country is watching.
Join the Conversation
Do you think marriage is becoming outdated for Nigerian men, or is this just a passing trend? Share your thoughts below. Let’s talk.