The Tables Have Turned – Or Have They?
There’s a quiet storm brewing in Nigeria’s dating scene—and it’s not coming from where most people think.
For years, the narrative painted men as the heartbreakers, the ghosts, the ones who "chop and clean mouth." But in 2025, more Nigerian men are stepping forward with a different story: They’re the ones getting played.
From Lagos to Abuja, Port Harcourt to Ibadan, the whispers are growing louder—“Women are the real players now.”
And if you think that’s just male ego talking, wait till you hear the stories.
“She Had Two Fiancés – I Was One of Them”
Olamide, a 32-year-old pharmacist in Lekki, shared his experience of being in what he thought was a serious relationship.
“We were planning our future together. I introduced her to my mum. Then one day, I saw her wedding invite—she was marrying another guy. Same week she asked me for money for a ‘business.’ Turns out, I was the other fiancé.”
That’s not fiction. That’s heartbreak with a twist of betrayal.
Financial Finesse: The New Hustle?
Many Nigerian men feel they’ve become walking wallets in modern relationships. It’s not just about love anymore—there’s a rising trend where men feel used, not loved.
One viral tweet read:
“Nigerian girls no dey date anymore. It’s now soft work and logistics.”
Harsh? Maybe. But it reflects a growing sentiment—some women treat dating as an avenue for financial gain, not emotional connection.
This isn’t to say all women are doing this, but enough stories are surfacing to make men question intentions.
Gaslighting & Mind Games: “You’re Not Man Enough”
Emeka, a 29-year-old content creator, opened up about the emotional manipulation he endured.
“She constantly compared me to her ex, always made me feel small. When I spoke up, she said I was being insecure. Turns out, she was still texting him every night.”
Emotional manipulation, once attributed mainly to men, is now something more guys are calling out in their partners. It’s not just about cheating—it’s about control, deceit, and silent emotional wounds.
“She Wanted the Status, Not Me”
There’s also a growing complaint among high-earning Nigerian men—clout chasing. Some women, they claim, get into relationships just to gain visibility, followers, or bragging rights.
Yusuf, a 35-year-old entrepreneur, says:
“The moment I got verified on Instagram, I noticed the change. I was no longer a partner—I became a prop in someone’s highlight reel.”
A Dating Battlefield, Not a Love Story?
Today’s dating scene in Nigeria feels less like romance and more like a strategy game. Both men and women are playing defense—and offense. But the real casualty? Genuine connection.
Men are no longer just hunters; some say they’ve become prey.
Is this shift fair? Is it a reaction to years of male dominance in relationships? Or have things simply spiraled into chaos?
So, Are Women the New Heartbreakers?
That’s the big question. While not all women engage in this behavior, enough do to leave a mark on the male dating psyche in Nigeria.
Social media has blurred the lines between love and lifestyle. Trust is harder to come by. And men, many for the first time, are finally speaking out—not from a place of hate, but from pain.
It’s easy to dismiss these stories as bitter rants or fragile egos. But there’s truth buried in these tales. Nigerian men are hurting, too. And perhaps it’s time we listened—not to blame, but to heal.
Because in the end, whether male or female, no one really wins in a game where love is just a strategy.
Share Your Experience
Have you ever felt played in a relationship? Whether you’re male or female, we want to hear your story. Drop a comment below